THAT'S gonna bruise.

Hi, McGill? It's called gravel. Please use it.

ah, CBC, how unintentionally amusing you are

Exhibit A:



I love the urgency the all-caps of "HAIL" conveys. Also it makes me think of "FAIL." Also why is the hail graphic the only one that gets text? Even if it may be difficult to graphically represent hail differently from snow, rain, sleet, etc., none of them really need text, especially if they are described on the right anyway. And it's a good thing they elaborate, since you might not know what "HAIL" is, but, phew, okay, just "ice pellets."

If talking about the weather were an olympic sport

Soooooo, it's zero degrees Fahrenheit, and probably colder with the wind chill, though CBC ever so metrically says it's -18 degrees, which scared me for about 3/5ths of a second as -18 is an entirely different ballgame of cold in Fahrenheit. Although Canadians are generally better-acquainted with cold than the residents of 49 out of 50 states, when a Canadian says something like "It's so cold out! It's going to be minus fifteen today!" I find myself wanting to reply, "Oh yeah? You think that's cold? You should try minus fifteen in America!"

And yet somehow it is a rather tropical 74 degrees in my apartment, though I have yet to turn on the heat this year. There is nothing coming out of my radiator. But even if I were to crack a window, the temperature would go down temporarily but spike right back up in an hour or two. WHERE IS THIS MYSTERY HEAT SOURCE? I barely needed blankets last night which is really not what I migrated north for.

I just printed out a Fahrenheit to Celsius conversion chart, so BRING IT, WINTER.

Merry Christmas, here's a new government

To be perfectly honest, I'm more concerned about CBC Special Reports interrupting Coronation Street than the overthrow of the Canadian government. But it's still pretty interesting to watch, especially since I am not invested in the outcome whatsoever. Except to say that, democracy or no democracy, it would totally make a better movie in ten or twenty years if the coalition takes over. Though I think Justin Trudeau would be much better for box office sales than Stephane Dion.

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Things That Annoy Me

- Use of the word "dialog(ue)" as a verb

- When students grunt earnestly in class. Hi, I can learn without making noise; can you? I don't mind understand the odd nod of interest, feigned or not, if the professor is looking straight at you. But so help me, if you actually say "huh!" out loud, I may have to draw blood.

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Here is library school in a nutshell:

Week 1: Assure students that their training will not become obsolete by graduation
Week 2: Stereotypes of librarians
Week 3: Wikipedia is not a valid source
Week 4: Wikipedia is a valid source
Week 5: Presentation of three- to seven-year-old technology as cutting-edge (Wow! Online encyclopedias! Second Life! The butter churn! Amazing!)
Week 6: Wikipedia is usually a valid source but nobody will admit it
Week 7: "Indigenous knowledge" aka "People Who Don't Live in the Western Hemisphere Sometimes Know Stuff Too But They Need Help Writing It Down"
Week 8: s s1 AND slow(w)painful(w)death
Week 9: Sixteen references to the printing press in one lecture
Week 10: Exam: Please recite all Dewey numbers 001-999 from memory.

the not so secret world of librarianship

In Cataloguing, we are learning about Dewey Decimal Classification. Now, there was an initial novelty of wondering what my phone number, in Dewey, classifies. (Nothing, sadly, though I was envisioning coy ways to give out my phone number involving attractive male librarians and the Dewey tables -- "It's Christina, and my phone number is 'Oriental antiquities' -- look it up.") I will admit, however, that I'm a little resistant to studying it. Not because it is unnecessarily complicated and breathtakingly dull, no. Just because it's the punchline of every joke made to me about my degree. Choose one term, punchline or joke, to put air quotes around.

"So, what are you studying?"
"Library Science."
(Cue blank stare. Cut to me explaining that, yes, to be a librarian, you need a master's degree.)
"So, what, heh, you just memorize the Dewey Decimal System?"

How clever! You must be related to the two hundred middle aged men who asked me if Tufts was tough. At least they managed to make up a pun.

Sometimes people ask that question seriously, and my faith in the world, already bottomed out, finds new lows.

So you see my concern, that my education may be starting to resemble its own parody. The other 50% of MLIS-related wisecracks remain only wisecracks unless one of my classes next semester involves the mechanics of shelving books (the best material for the shelf? how many books to carry at once? how to slide around the room on a ladder like Belle?). I've already got the glasses, the introversion, and the cat-lady tendencies. I don't need any more help with the stereotype.

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The nice thing about library school? Nobody in my class thinks leggings are pants.

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Overheard recently:

Thirtysomething man on McGill campus: "My mom smoked like a chimney. We, like, ate out of ashtrays."

At the American Museum of Natural History:

Twelve year old, pointing to a model of a Malayan tribeswoman: "Is that what Indians look like?"
Mom (looks up): "Some."
(Both leave.)

Mom in leather jacket, to daughter in leather jacket: "That's a sloth bear. That means he's lazy. Like your father."

bits and anglophone bobs

Every time I hear a Canadian pronounce the name of this city, I hear "Mun-treal." Maybe it's just my broad-voweled Boston accent, but my pronunciation is a bit more drawn out and sounds more like "Mawn-treal," which would rhyme with "John-treal."

Overheard in the McGill Student Ghetto:

Girl: "I really liked Ernie and Bert as a kid."
Guy: "What was with them? Two grown men sharing a bed!"
Girl: "They didn't share a bed! They had their own beds! I remember because there was a bit where Bert tells Ernie not to eat cookies in bed, so he eats them in Bert's bed instead."
Guy: "Oh."
Girl: "I always got so upset for Bert. The poor guy; he just wants to get some sleep!"

Imitation carnivory

Montreal is apparently famous for smoked meat sandwiches, specifically from a certain charcuterie on St. Laurent, Schwartz's.



As a vegetarian, I've mostly ignored this phenomenon, aside from being annoyed at the dozens of tourists blocking the sidewalk. But today, while on a mission at Metro (stocking up on their 5-lb bags of root vegetables for 99 cents each [you're welcome]), I spotted this:



I hold no expectations for the quality of the "Smoked Wheat"/"meatless smoked meat," and naturally I have nothing to compare it to, but since it was cheaper than all the other vegetarian products, if it's remotely tasty I'll call it a win. (Also, what idiot at Veggie Gourmet thought that "Smoked Wheat" would be an enticing name for this product? Given that it's a specialty product based on a specific type of meat, I don't think people buy this product because the name sounds tasty, but poorly-named meat substitutes make it quite difficult to be taken seriously when I attempt to share my soy-inspired joy with omnivores.)

Now, pardon me while I spend the next 24 hours in an election-induced tizzy. I got out the vote some two weeks ago, so it's out of my hands. It's looking good for my man Obama, but tomorrow night you'll still probably be able to find me dangerously hyped up on election nerves and caffeine, frantically hitting F5 on CNN.com.