Imitation carnivory

Montreal is apparently famous for smoked meat sandwiches, specifically from a certain charcuterie on St. Laurent, Schwartz's.



As a vegetarian, I've mostly ignored this phenomenon, aside from being annoyed at the dozens of tourists blocking the sidewalk. But today, while on a mission at Metro (stocking up on their 5-lb bags of root vegetables for 99 cents each [you're welcome]), I spotted this:



I hold no expectations for the quality of the "Smoked Wheat"/"meatless smoked meat," and naturally I have nothing to compare it to, but since it was cheaper than all the other vegetarian products, if it's remotely tasty I'll call it a win. (Also, what idiot at Veggie Gourmet thought that "Smoked Wheat" would be an enticing name for this product? Given that it's a specialty product based on a specific type of meat, I don't think people buy this product because the name sounds tasty, but poorly-named meat substitutes make it quite difficult to be taken seriously when I attempt to share my soy-inspired joy with omnivores.)

Now, pardon me while I spend the next 24 hours in an election-induced tizzy. I got out the vote some two weeks ago, so it's out of my hands. It's looking good for my man Obama, but tomorrow night you'll still probably be able to find me dangerously hyped up on election nerves and caffeine, frantically hitting F5 on CNN.com.